Why are Towels the most Important Things in the Universe?
Towels are the Answer
As everyone knows, the answer to the meaning of life, the universe and everything is 42. But 42 is a number – a mathematical concept – and is very difficult to dry yourself with after a dip in the sea.
It is for this reason that we put forward our own alternative theory: that the meaning of life, and the most important thing in the universe, is in fact a towel.
Let’s face it, what other item would you prefer to take with you on a whistle-stop tour of the galaxy? Our experts have pondered it, and have reached the conclusion that no other household items can cut it in the field of interstellar travel like a towel can.Your Towels: A Universal Choice
When you need to towel yourself down after an encounter with a rain god, shade yourself from the bronzing rays of a solar flare, or plug your ears to the sound of an interplanetary rock band, what are you going to use? Your toothbrush might come in hand for the latter, a spare pair of undies might be able to handle all three in a limited capacity. But only a towel is going to be able to take that kind of punishment and come back for more.
It is obvious when you really think about it. What DIDN’T the crew of Apollo 13 have in their inventory during their ill-fated mission? What did John Hurt NOT use to cover his face when he went for a wander on an uncharted planet? That’s right; a simple towel could have come in very handy on both of those occasions.
New Scientific Revelation: The Towel Rules
This might seem like a bit of a stretch, but bear with us here, as technology is on our side. Hidden in the bowels of AllureTex HQ, our scientists have been busy tinkering with their new supercomputer, Deep Scrub; a magnificent machine with the power to answer the quandary that has plagued mankind for millennia: “what is the most important thing in the universe?”.
After seven and a half hours of deliberation (during which we’d got bored and nipped down to the beach), Deep Scrub found the answer. On our return, AllureTex crew of resident scientists informed us that the answer was indeed what we had predicted; towels!
We asked them to explain the logic behind it all, but they told us it was too difficult for our feeble minds to understand and that it was best to take their word for it. So we did.
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